Things I Am Learning

This is not an easy post to write.  It has not been an easy week.  I am supposed to be at our Saturday evening service right now, but had to come home because 2 little girls could not behave.  We gave up wrestling with them and, since I was the one with a headache, I came home. The house is really quiet right now.  They are both sleeping. Hmmmmmm..... I wonder if waking up at 7 on a Saturday is catching up with them.  Personally, I have been awake since 3, (yes that is 3 AM) so 7 sounds like sleeping in.

We have a house still not selling in Cincinnati. Yes, we live in Toledo. No, we aren't rich. Yes, it is frustrating. But, ya know what?  I can't control that! (The selling of the house.)  I got a substitute certificate so I can sub in our local school district to help ends meet.  But, ya know what?  I haven't gotten a single call to sub!  I can't control that either.  Whining Worrying about it doesn't change it.

God and I had a talk about that this week.  He's not been looking at my planner.  Or following what I think needs to happen. Oh, it is a good thing He is a patient Father.  He keeps reminding me: (from Proverbs 3)

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;
 ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight. ^[a]
 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
       fear the LORD and shun evil.
 ⁸ This will bring health to your body
       and nourishment to your bones.
 ⁹ Honor the LORD with your wealth,
       with the firstfruits of all your crops;
 ¹⁰ then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
       and your vats will brim over with new wine.

Then He reminded me of all the ways in which He has provided for us (monetarily) as I have been so concerned about our financial situation:
        ~people have brought us groceries
        ~we have had to buy almost no clothing for our five children
        ~we have been given a van for free(!)
        ~we have almost never paid for a baby sitter
        ~free movie tickets for our date nights
        ~free clothing for me and Kevin
        ~strangers handing us money when we were commuting between Cincy and Toledo to help pay for food and gas
        ~and many other things!

(If you have been the hand and feet of Jesus for us, thank you.  If you have prayed on our behalf, thank you.)

And I have always struggled with headaches, depression, etc...I don't usually blog about those things but God has been talking to me about them, too.  I was whining to Him about them


⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Okay, I may not be where I am gladly boasting my weaknesses, but I am starting to understand that grace is enough for me!

A Clean Kitchen

On Saturday, before the black death settled in and took out 6 of the 7 of us, I spent almost the entire day cleaning my kitchen. (In case you are wondering, Risi is the only one who did not end up sick. According to Sheri, Ris probably scared away the virus....she's probably right.)

So my kitchen looks great, wiped down everything, cleaned up my hair bow stuff, scrubbed the stove. It looks great......unless you open the cupboards or the fridge or the drawers. Didn't make it to cleaning those.

On the outside it looks great, on the inside, not so much.

And that really got me to thinking. I've spent a lot time on my outside recently. In the past year, I've lost a lot of weight. And mostly for health reasons, but, truthfully, I wanted to look better too.

But I got to thinking, what if someone one opened my drawer? Pulled out my silverware drawer? Would they find crumbs? Cupboards that need wiped down?

We are so aware of our appearances. I wonder what life would be like if we spent as much time working on our insides as we do on our outsides. What if I spent as much time in my Bible everyday as I do taking a shower and fixing my hair? What if I spent as much time in prayer as I spend on the computer each day? What if I spent as much time in worship as I spend watching the news each day (and let's face it the news is pretty depressing!)

Just some thoughts, for me and for you.......

How do you look? On the inside??

What If The Church Danced??

12 Now King David was told, "The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God." So David went down and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. 13 When those who were carrying the ark of the LORD had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. 14 David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, 15 while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

II Samuel 6:12-15

What if the church dance? Really danced? Just because God is God? Danced for joy??

2 They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion;

they will rejoice in the bounty of the LORD—
the grain, the new wine and the oil,

the young of the flocks and herds.

They will be like a well-watered garden,

and they will sorrow no more.

3 Then maidens will dance and be glad,

young men and old as well.

I will turn their mourning into gladness;

I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:12-13

By now, you've probably seen THIS video....If you haven't you really should....and leave your inhibitions and how you think things 'should' be done, and allow yourself to be caught up in the joy displayed here.

What if the church displayed this kind of joy? See, to understand what I am talking about, you have to watch THIS! I can only imagine people would be drawn to it! We are all looking for a measure of joy in our lives. I challenge you to try God as He really is the only source of true joy. Of course there are many things that can give us happiness. Our children, our marriages, our friends, our hobbies. But, for me, only God can give me true joy. The kind of joy that lets me do this:

with a migraine. Dancing for joy in the Lord!!

A couple of years ago, Kevin had the kids at our sister church, Sharonville UMC and my kids were having a blast. They were running around the lobby like it was their personal playground. And some of the 'Propriety Police' were frowning on it. Kevin was trying to calm them down, when our dear friend, Pastor Jim said, "That's right kids. Stop having fun! If people knew that church was fun, they might want to come!"

What a statement.

If people knew that church was fun, they might want to come. If we danced for joy before the Lord, people would want to come!

Oh, the freedom that comes from dancing for joy before the Lord!

What if the church danced?

Our Cub@n Visitors

I'm kind of without words right now...shocking, I know. Here is one friend's account of our praise and worship concert on Saturday night.

Depleted

Don't you just feel wiped out sometimes? That's where I am today. Hardly any energy to move. I don't want to do laundry, vacuum, make hair bows, exercise, dust, pick up after children, fight with children, organize one thing, make one bed. I just want to rest. Maybe even sleep. All day.

And I fight guilt for feeling this way. I'm SuperMom after all! I've got 5 kids to dress, feed, get out the door (okay only two of them leave,) entertain, pray for, etc.

And then I remember that God prescribed rest. You know, the whole Ten Commandments thing:

For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death.Exodus 31:14-16

I'm not so good at resting on the Sabbath. One of the perils of being the pastoral family. Actually I am not so good at resting, period.

But, I'm not God.....and HE rested.

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.Genesis 2:1-3

And Jesus, remember him?? Well, he offers us rest!

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:25-27

You know what? I think I may just take him up on his offer today.

Disappointment

Today is the big Valentine's party for Josiah and Charis's preschool class. Talk about excited! They've been counting it down all week! 2 more days till the party. 1 more day till the party. They woke up today reminding me that the party is today. Ella and I were up early and dressed so we could be at school the last hour to participate in the party. We've sent in cookies. We've sent in candy. We've filled out the Valentines. They are all ready, dressed, hair and teeth brushed. There's only one problem. We had a really windy night, and the school's power was knocked out. So there is no party. And, boy, are they disappointed. So am I.

I had plans this morning, too. I was going to pick up a few things at the grocery. I was going to finish a hair bow order. I was going to try to clean up the dining room which is covered with scraps of paper. Okay, maybe not an earth shattering disappointment, but that is the situation.

My husband has been working on a visa for a friend of ours to visit the U. S. since last February. Last night he was given reason to believe that that visit might not happen, or if it does happen it will be much later this year. He was supposed to be here for Christmas. And I don't think words can be given to the disappointment both of these men are feeling.

Disappointments, large and small, are such a part of life. We set our expectations and then something happens that we are not in control of, or prepared for ,and plans fall apart.

But, in the midst of all of this, there is always hope.

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

In our Lord there is always hope. For the big disappointments and the little ones. You see, he is always there for us. No matter what happens, we still have a Savior who loves us, who sees us for who we will someday be. Who died for us. There is always hope for those in Jesus Christ.

5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:5

Overwhelmed!

I cannot begin to understand all that has been happening in my life this past week. God has been working big time, through so many people, books, music, movies, blogs, just life in general and I'm struggling to process it all.

I've been in my Bible a lot this month. I'm doing a reading plan to read the whole thing through this year. But I find myself doing several days reading at a time. For the first time in my life, I just cannot seem to get enough of God's word! It's amazing. I admit it started out with my need to finish things once I start them, but now it is just a thirst for the word of God!! I need to thank the amazing ladies in Thursday night Bible study. We are studying Romans. And the study is good. Women genuinely trying to get at what GOD is trying to teach us. We are not making excuses or trying to twist the words that fit more comfortably in our lives, we're just asking the Holy Spirit to talk to us, to teach us.

This past Wednesday, we had a community dinner at church. We do them once a month. Nothing fancy, spaghetti, salad, garlic bread. No charge, just come and meet your neighbors, make new friends,etc. There is no hard sell, no sell at all, just the opportunity for us to serve. The first month we had mainly people from the church. But each month it has grown. This past week we had 80-90 people. People who attend Grace Church, brothers and sisters from other churches in town, old friends, new friends, people new to Norwood. Very cool.

On Thursday, my friend, Erin, had a beautiful baby boy. He is so beautiful And because we are women and couldn't wait anymore, we called her at the hospital and were able to talk to her right after he was born. And we prayed with her. Gotta love cell phones that allow conference calls.

Saturday morning the whole crew went to a Community Breakfast at New Bethel Baptist, also in Norwood. Several of our church people were there and lots of other familiar faces, friends, family in the body of Christ. I couldn't help think, as I was cutting pancakes for the kids, "this is making God smile! His children coming together to break bread."

This was the beginning of my migraine. A stress migraine because even good stress is still stress. So, as I was sitting on the couch, with lots of pain medications, we through in a DVD that I got for $5. Facing the Giants. All of us watched. It was wonderful. The kids liked it so much we watched it again on Sunday evening.

Sunday. Where to start? A former student of Kevin's came to share his testimony. He was an alcoholic, homeless, watched his father die, lost the love of his life, was let go by the rest of his family. But, he found Jesus in a Taco Bell. He was approached by a woman who offered him shelter, took him to church, led him to Jesus. He spoke to us a good 90 minutes. A really good 90 minutes. Using the parable of the prodigal son. Now, if you are not Methodist, this might not seem unusual to you, but a 3 hour service is really unusual. Praise Jesus, almost everyone stayed to here this young man tell us how Jesus delivered him. I can't tell what he said in anyway to give it justice. But I will tell you that after the service, he gathered up our youth and took them into our prayer room and prayed with them for an hour. I don't know what was said behind that closed door, but I know he loved on those kids with all the love that the Holy Spirit poured out on him.

I was blessed to hear even more of the amazing things God has done for him when he braved lunch with Kevin, the three youngest kiddos and I.

And blogs. I love reading blogs. But there was one that really brought tears to my eyes today.

And so tonight, once again my head hurts. Thank you,Jesus, for overwhelming me! Thank you for this headache caused by good stress, not bad. And Lord, please, continue to overwhelm me with You !

An Amazing Blessing

Last night, my Bible study took the night off from 'studying' to pray for one of our own. Our dear friend, Linda, has been really sick for a couple of months. She is waiting for a study to open up for her for a new medication. Her immune system is compromised. She runs a fever most of the time. She is exhausted.

When she asked for prayer, we were so blessed! A few of the ladies had to beg off. They were worried because they were sick or had been exposed to germs and didn't want to take the chance of carrying germs to Linda.

We met up at church and piled into Tracy's car. When we got to Linda's, we spent some time meeting her 2 birds, cat, and dog and catching up with each other.

And then we started to pray. All holding hand. Prayers for Linda's physical, mental, and spiritual health. Heart felt prayers from a group of people who love Jesus and love Linda.

Then I read some Bible versus about annoining with oil. Exodus 30:22-25, Hebrews 1:9, and James 5:13-16. Then we laid hands on Linda. We prayed and annointed her with oil. I felt that the Spirit was right there in our midst. Absolutely palpable.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow......

Testimony......

On Saturday, Kevin and I went to see Third Day (!) in concert with a couple of his former students. One of them had an amazing testimony. As it is not my story to tell, I will just say he was delivered from some pretty amazing demons and vices and is now amazingly in love with Jesus. Kevin, too, has an amazing testimony, of which I am a part, but it is his testimony.

Well, the amazing lady we were with, I'll call her Amanda, and I started talking. She was raised in a christian home and just always knew God. I, too, always knew God. I went to Sunday school as a child. As a teen, friends took me to church. Sometimes I wandered away, but God was never too far. I always knew that I was special to him and that he was guiding me.

So Amanda and I were talking about not having one 'amazing moment' when we were delivered from something and accepted Jesus, and how sometimes it almost makes you feel like a 'lesser christian' because you don't have this experience.

But the more I thought about it, the more grateful to God I am that I don't have that 'aha' moment. Because I wasn't addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex. I wasn't homeless. I wasn't terminally ill and then cured. I wasn't abused. I wasn't neglected. Thank you, Jesus, I was none of these things.

And I hope my children can say the same thing. That they were brought up knowing God and loving God. That he has always been real to them. I don't want them to have to go through something horrible in order to know our God and Savior.

They will still have a testimony, as I have a testimony. I have so many instances where God has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of those around me. And it doesn't make me any less of a christian, or any more of a christian for that matter. My God will use the story that he has given me to bring to him the people he has chosen. Isn't he just too cool??

I AM NOT FORGOTTEN

Do you ever need reminded of that? I do. No matter what is going on God is there. You are his favorite! The apple of his eye. He knows YOUR name!

I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name.
He knows my name.

Light over darkness
Strength over weakness
Joy over sadness
He knows my name

I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name.
He knows my name.

Father to the Fatherless
Friend to the friendless
Hope for the hopeless
He knows my name

I will praise You I will praise You
For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am not forgotten Never forsaken

I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name.
He knows my name.

(by Israel Houghton and the New Breed)

It Is So Hard To Explain...

the connection we have with this small church on this small island country. But is is from God. Yes, those are palm trees along side a salt water river with mountain cliffs. Gorgeous. We spent hours on the river on paddle boats. We came home exhausted, sunburnt and happy.

The congregation is amazing. Full of lots of love and lots of Holy Spirit. They were so excited to see videos from their prayer partners in the states. They cheered aloud everytime one said they'd like to visit Cuba. They were expecially excited to see their own pictures on display in the prayer room at Grace Church.

Beautiful, sweet children.....

Keeping It In Perspective

Wednesday, I drove to Lima (2 hours north of Cincinnati) because my mom was have a heart catherization on Thursday. She's had a stress test come back showing limited blood flow to parts of her heart.

She was ushered into operating room hours before she was scheduled. That certainly cuts down greatly on the sit around and fret time! Less than an hour after she was gone into surgery we were meeting with the surgeon. Praise God!! Mom's heart is perfectly fine. She is having some spasms in the arteries; those are what are causing her pain. They are doing no damage. The only effect of them is the pain she's feeling. So they will control the spasms with medication.

She was doing so well, that I was sent home a day early. Not that I missed my babies or anything.

After a two hour drive, I turned on my street to see a car accident and my husband out in the street with his cell phone. I just assumed he was helping out. I opened the car door (because the window on his van, which I was driving) is not working. I asked if him if everything was okay. He said, "yea, we're both fine. " That is when it dawned on me that it was my van sitting wrecked on the street. At that point, all I could do was rejoice because no one was hurt. My mom's heart is fine and no one was hurt in the accident.

God is good, all the time!!

Great Album!

This is a great album by Matt Maher. Really inspirational. I've had in my van for a couple of days and haven't taken it out of the cd player once! I love "Leave a Light On" and "Empty and Beautiful." My kids enjoy it, too. The music is varied between up tempo and slow songs. You'll recognize at least one song and hear lots of others which will become favorites.

What is extra cool is, if you go to Matt Maher's site you can listen to many of the songs. If you love this cd as much as I do, you can get it for only $8.97 for a limited time.

Continue to pray

Kade has gone to be with Jesus. He will never have to learn a lesson the hard way. He will never have to choose between God and his friends. He will never be hurt by a careless word. He will never know loss or loneliness.

His mama is still here, mourning a little one that was knit in her womb. She is suffering, grieving. She is hurting with a pain only a few ever have to deal with. Please pray for Stephanie. That she will learn to turn to the same one who is today holding her child. She is lost and lonely. May Jesus hold her in his arms, just as he is holding Kade.

Please, Please Pray

This is Kade. He was born 16 weeks premature. He is really struggling as you can imagine. The doctors are not too hopeful. But OUR God is bigger than that. Pray for his lungs to develop.

And pray for his mommy, Stephanie. She is 19 and really struggling. She also might have cancer.

Pray for good results for both. Stephanie's relationship with the Lord is tenuous at best.

And pray for Cindy, a wonderful woman who God has chosen as a friend and mentor for Stephanie. Pray for rest and strength for this warrior of the Lord.

In Him Who Heals,

Tonni

A Good Week

This week, Grace, almost 9, took communion for the first time. We've been talking to her about it and what it means. So, on Maundy Thursday, her earthly daddy served her her first communion. Even more fitting when you know that she accepted Christ on Maundy Thursday last year. God is so good.

YesterdayI started the day with breakfast with some of the most amazing women that I know. Then I came home to spend the rest of the day with another amazing lady, my mom. She came down to hang out with her baby and my babies. It was gorgeous outside and we spend lots of time blowing bubbles. I also took her over to the Via Crucis.

Hug Your Husband Today

I have a wonderful husband. He's pretty cute too! He's the one in the middle. He's a great hubby and daddy. I don't know what I would do without him.

Yesterday, my uncle died unexpectantly. I cannot imagine how my aunt is feeling. They are in their mid 60s and shouldn't be dealing with this now. So, if you think about it, say a prayer for my aunt, whose world will never be the same, and for her their kids who no longer have their dad, and the grandkids who lost their grandpa.

And then go hug your cute husband or beautiful wife and be grateful to God for this day with that person.

Why I Love Christian Women

I tried to upload this onto my blog, but it didn't work. For a GREAT laugh, check out Solomon's vision of beauty.

Awesome News

While you are here, click on breast cancer symbol to the right to help donate free mammograms. Then go here to get some wonderful news about a friend of mine.

On the Mend

I think we are finally getting healthy! No fevers, no barfing. All good stuff! Now if it would stop raining! Wait! there is some sun sneaking through.

We got a visit with Paw Paw yesterday. He is up from Florida, doing something I don't understand and is flying back tomorrow.

It's Ash Wednesday. Kevin is at service at Sharonville. I am home with the kids. I am not a huge fan of Ash Wednesday services. Actually, I hate them. I always leave feeling so depressed...oh, you sinner!!! But in Christ we are no longer sinners. We are holy!! See below!

2To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours:
1 Corinthians 1:2

But that is a whole other entry.....look for it in the days to come! And to the ladies in my Tuesday night study, stop laughing at me!!!!